Thank you Peter for starting this for us. Who ever thought I'd have my own Blog? Having cancer brings many new experiences.
I'll back up a little for those we haven't spoken with recently. During my last every three month check up a "hazy shadow" showed up on my liver. After the initial C.T. scan I had an MRI, then a PET scan and finally a liver biopsy to confirm that it was a small malignant tumor the same type as my original tumor, squamous cell. The four days of waiting for results of the biopsy were probably the most agonizingly difficult time we have had during the past year. It was in some ways easier to hear the results of the biopsy than it was to wait for the results. I know that sounds strange. The mind left to it's own devices goes around in circles with numbing speed and terrifying thoughts. Franz and I spent the time asking each other unanswerable questions and reliving exactly one year ago when my original diagnosis was made. My yoga practice was most helpful during that time and enabled me to stay in the here and now for short periods of time while I concentrated on my teachers voice and the muscles in my body. Franz, in Franz style took care of every bit of business as well as being my tower of support. Peter immediately texted his friends to ask them to pray. He is my second rock. What an appropriate time to have him home from college. No mother could be prouder.
We spent an afternoon at the cancer center as soon as the biopsy results were available on line. Dr. Bullock walked with us through the shock of the new diagnosis and treated us as family as did everyone else there that day. He immediately contacted a doctor friend who is an Oncology surgeon at OHSU and we set up an appointment for Friday of last week. When we left the cancer center later that day we were armed with information and a plan. A much better place to be than the endless waiting for test results. The anger that I never felt about having cancer the first time around finally came. I've paid my dues to cancer, how can I go through this again? The mysteries of life and God's plan are beyond understanding at times. I was just beginning to feel that I had stepped beyond cancer and was ready to have my life back. Not my old life but a life that felt more precious, shiny and real. Having cancer does leave some positives.
Dr. Kevin Billingsley practices at the new Health and Wellness Center, down the hill from the main campus of OHSU in Portland. Franz and I went up the night before and stayed at a motel near the center. We had an early morning appointment with the doctor. We immediately felt like we were at the right place when we walked in to his office. He is a liver expert, over 60% of his surgeries are liver related. He had all of my medical records which had been sent up from Willamette Valley Cancer Center,(WVCC). We spent close to two hours in his exam room while he went through my history with us . He examined me and then gave us his recommendation. Surgical removal of a portion of the liver is the "gold standard" for a single tumor like mine. It's not a minor surgery but mine is technically easy and he doesn't anticipate any problems. At this time that seems to be the extent of the treatment that I will need. He isn't 100% sure about whether I should also have chemotherapy and neither were the doctors in Eugene. My liver metastasis is extremely unusual and Kevin, as he asked us to call him, wants to talk to some colleagues before deciding for sure. We agreed with his recommendation and spent the rest of the day having pre-op tests to prepare for surgery which is scheduled for January 15th. I'll be in the hospital for 5 days and will need about 4 weeks to recuperate. I should be getting my energy back by late February when it's time to prune my roses. Again, my garden will be part of my healing. The good thing about having cancer during the holidays is that there is plenty to do to keep busy and lots of time with friends and family. You can't do cancer by yourself and I feel blessed to have such wonderful support. Talking about cancer, especially with those you love can be difficult and painful. To not talk about it would be the ultimate unfairness to all of us.
So, our journey begins again and either Peter, Franz or I will try to post updates periodically.

Love, Nancy